Leah

2008-10-25T14:49:00.000+07:00

hey there folks, it’s been so long I’m not sure where even to begin!
i wrote my last blog in june! Jesus I really am a disaster! So much has happened and yet in real life so little has changed…that is…until last week!

Last week I finally got the medical go-ahead to dive!

Now it’s not without restrictions and it’s only like being given a provisional but hell it’s a start! It’s limited depths, limited conditions etc for what seems like forever but it is a start. And then fingers crossed, if we can see that over time there have been no negative effects with regards to my asthma, then maybe, just maybe I will really be able to pursue my dream.

I have now been in my “new” job at Visa Diving a few months already and overall it has been really great. Been working with a really good team and it’s been really nice to actually be in a diving environment full time. Money was great at the beginning and I even managed to save quite a bit and was feeling quite pleased with myself! I seemed to be quite good at selling without ever having to resort to the “hard-sell” and the manager Tom is just great, really works hard at keeping everything running like a family.
All was going great!

Liz and Dave had a holiday planned and i was going to join them for a few days in Koh Phangan, my first holiday in Thailand! Can you imagine!

Something like 2 days before I was due to meet them, I was diagnosed with Dengue Fever. It is one motherfu@#er of an illness and I only got the mild version! I lost nearly 2 weeks of work, nearly a stone in weight, all of my savings and of course my holiday and chance to meet up with the guys! Sooo disappointed!
Unbelievable eh?

Of course somewhere around the same time, Thailand decided to start fighting with itself again, airports closed in krabi and phuket and Bangkok became subject to #####. 30% of flights to Thailand were cancelled and those that did make it to BKK still couldn’t get to us!

Huge economic impact that we are still waiting to recover from. Have really not been making any money since and am really not sure when I will again. Things seem to be picking up this last week, so fingers crossed it will continue. As ever my return is dictated one month at a time!

Now before you get the wrong idea, it has not all been doom and gloom, I have been having quite a lot of fun these last few months! Re-discovering my “irish-ness” and my taste for singha beer, late nights and jagermeister and to my detriment a poisonous shot called fishermans friend.

Our dive-master Aiad and his wife, our videographer Cella have been running a local bar, Deco Bar ( or Upstairs Bar), where many divers go and few tourists, which when you’ve been talking to all day long is somewhat welcome for an hour or two!

The shop closes at 9 and without fail the majority head straight there, or at least directly after dinner. And it’s just never for one or two?!

It’s kinda like the cheers bar, individuals can come and go but without fail there’s always a few who can be depended upon to keep the party going.

They even managed to persuade divers from different shops to participate in a ladyboy night for a charity, and I tell you one thing for sure……ladyboy limbo dancing leaves images that stay with you for the rest of your life!!

My friend Dave had been living in bkk teaching, and before leaving for home he came down for a few nights. (he’s been a few times now, with Ger, and Caroline his sister when Sean and Jan were here) and I went to meet him in good old Patong for a night. And I think I can say with certainty that it was the best night out I’ve had in years! One of the funniest parts about it all is that it was mother’s day, and this brothel of a city was deserted! All the working girls had run off home to be with their moms or kids and you just had bars and bars full of empty poles! What a laugh!
we drank and laughed the night away, met some new best friends down paradise (gay strip) (what were their names again ; >), engaged in peacetalks and had a boogie with some Kuwaitis and Dave had a mini dance off with some thai aul fellas outside 7/11.fell home at stupid o clock in the morning to the gorgeous Baipho guesthouse and got about 3 hours sleep before having to subject myself to the nightmare bus journey to Penang, Malaysia on a visa run!

Worth It?

Hell Yeah!

I was back in Patong again recently too, we had a staff night out just a few nights ago and I’m still recovering!

It was decided that for the end of Ramadan we needed to close the shop for a day to allow our Thai staff to go home and celebrate with their families on this important day, and hell if the shop was going to be closed then we should be celebrating too!
Most of our group of 11 headed on the morning ferry meeting up with the others later that evening. We got a great deal on the the lovely Baanzhan guesthouse, not even 5 mins from the city center and off we went. I’m not sure why I was so shocked when Tom produced a large bag of cans on the ferry, it was 9am for christs sake! But hey, that was breakfast and the party had started!
It was a fun day! It was a little strange having to wear shoes again (not that that lasted long , I lost them b4 the night was out!), but nice to be in a city again with so many things happening all at once.
It’s so funny that there was a time that Paong was my idea of hell, but now after having had to live there for so long I really have developed a soft spot for it! I feel strangely at ease amongst all the chaos, and folks it really is chaos!
Whatever you want, whenever you want, in any flavour you want 24 hours a day!
Lights, girls, animals, bars, poles, poles, poles, poles. (and though I didn’t mean of the eastern European variety, I have no doubt if you wanted that you could have that too!)

We had an incredible meal in a hideaway restaurant called June Toppical, the best mussels and the best steak I’ve ever had. And then progressed from bar to bar to bar until it was just a blur of breasts, shots and at one stage a whipping frenzy!

Some of these places were nuts, for 1000thb (around 20euro) you ring the bell and that’s a round of shots for the bar, but of course once one person rings the bell it just keeps on ringing as a random “round” takes up momentum!
Tom was a phenomena and just seems to have kept his hand in his pocket all night. Dinner, drinks etc, and just made sure that everyone was enjoying their one and only night off in the year.
And we did!

There was no hiding from the Devil’s torment the following day!

Somewhere over the last week or so I got a surprise visit from Ed. I spent years working with Ed at home in cork and when I last got home from Thailand, he was just having his going away party, embarking on a years traveling. He’s been on so many adventures through India, Nepal, china. Vietnam etc and when he landed in Koh Phangan recently I’m glad to say he didn’t take too much persuading to spend his last few days in Phi Phi before flying home. Because of working we didn’t get to spend nearly as much time together as I would have liked but we did manage to pull off a few nights out and a disastrous afternoons snorkeling : )
He seemed to know nearly as many people here as I did, and so we had quite a social time! Particularly social last night which ended with a crashed bicycle, loadsa laughter and lots and lots of bruising!
Again, definitely worth it!

Now before you think I’ve lost my mind, you have to realize that these last 2 months adventures are so far removed from normal during my entire time here!.
It has been fun exactly because it has been so different.
And, I can’t say at all that I regret one single minute of it : >
How and ever!

I am burned out! My body is aching for something healthy! It needs to walk and hike and do yoga! It needs some good nights sleep and non fast food! (I knew the morning after the staff party when my body ran for burger king like a lost man in the desert would run towards a well, that finally, enough had to be enough ha ha ha)

Also if my first brush with diving yields anything other than positive results then my dream is over. So, first I need to get to my peak health and then start diving.
Unbelievably Aine and Orla are planning a 10 day holiday over new years eve ( with their respective Dave’s) and it will be Orla’s first time diving too, so I’m gonna wait and do mine with her. I’ve waited 2 years already, another 2 months is nothing, and honestly, I just can’t think of a better way to ring in the new year!

I am so excited, I can hardly sleep with anticipation!

(will upload photo's soon x)

2008-08-06T10:56:00.008+07:00

Another year, another hangover!

Just turned 31, which doesn’t feel all that different from 30 to be honest (or if I’m even more honest, really doesn’t feel all that different from my 20’s?)
I actually had to call in sick today because of a hangover sent from hell, special delivery at 7am.
Never again!
Although........it was a great night ; >

The weather’s been dreadful the last few days, really rainy and stormy, so birthday snorkel was out! I ended up having a really lovely day on my own. Sad as I am! Started reading a nice book Keira had, and listening to old music I thought I had forgotten, in my pretty room with all my lamps and fairylights, nice and snug while the storm raged outside. Boiled the kettle and had a hot water wash (luxury!) and used enough lotions and potions to make me feel like a princess! The storm subsided late afternoon and so I went to yoga with Keirs where she worked us goooood! Felt fantastic afterwards as ever, and had plenty of time to get home and get dolled up for dinner. Painted my toenails red and donned my new wee black dress (the wbd is the Irish version of the lbd for those of you that don’t know!) and hit the town. Far too much wine and a birthday shot later, we hit Sports Bar, and a few too many beers later, Tiger Bar, jagermeister and sambuca seemed like a good idea?
It was a lovely night, lots of lovely birthday wishes and gifts. Good food, good company and surprisingly good wine too! And even a lights out bringing of a birthday cake by Spidermonkey!
Of course I brought my camera, but didn’t remember to take it out of my bag even once during the night!

This year is bringing more than just a hangover. Big changes abound, and following the pattern I seem to have set last year, I find myself once more, broke and in a job that is not working out.
I handed in my notice 2 days ago and will be finished at the end of the month. I have accepted another job as a sales gal in a dive shop run by the lovely Tom, but it isn’t a secure wage by any means. Its commission based and this is low season so how it works out will have to remain to be seen.
I’m not really sure how I feel about it all. I kind of expected it would only be for a few months this time, so I don’t think it’s disappointment that I’m feeling.
I’m not sure?
I think I’m just at a loss about what I want to do with myself. Coming home and working in some bar/restaurant is fine but it’s hardly inspiring. But then neither is staying here taking some job to get me through.
I can’t believe that I can now officially be “in my thirties” and still have no clear idea about what I want to do with myself. (well besides the one thing that isn’t an otion and actually dive!)
It’s strange that I think I have so much to offer and yet if this was true I guess there’d be much more on offer to me!
I have a few weeks left here anyway for sure. My new job only demands around 6 hours a day from me, of course I can and probably will be opting to put another 3-4 on top of that daily, but as I get the hang of it, and get over the learning curve I should have quite a bit of free time on my hands, so maybe I need to start on that by finishing my T.E.F.L. course. We’ll see I guess, how that pans out!

Keira moved out of her place a few weeks ago and has been living with me since then, sharing such a small room brings it’s own tensions for sure, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s been great having her here, and our shared time on the balcony at the end of the night, Singha in hand has been bonding!
In fairness, with all due respect to her early rising and my late night reading, we’ve been doing very very well!
She’s going home for a holiday in less than 2 weeks now and I’m really going to miss her company. I’m even a little jealous cos she’s gonna get to see everyone! Including Simes and Jemma and Claire, and probably even DD and Connie too! And that’s just besides all of you!
And who’s gonna be here to help me with the Phi Phi dramas?!
Fireballs hitting the windows in bad storms, 4 meter Pythons killing kittens and tryin their best to break into our friends bungalows? Honestly folks there aren’t all that any dull moments here on Phi Phi!

I went on Hippo’s dive boat yesterday with Keira and it was beautiful. We went to Bida Nok and Palong South, 2 dive sites off Phi Phi Leh. The sun, having thought about it long and hard at first decided finally to make an appearance and gave the coral a chance to have a starring role. The marine life was abundant and as I was again getting a guest role as the lone snorkeler in this nature play, I got to feel like the star in my very own aqua-universe. A turtle had a peek at me from his hiding place under some table coral, and after deciding I guess that I might make a suitable playmate, took a swim in my direction surfacing inches from me.
After introducing myself we frolicked temporarily on the surface until he again sought refuge down below where few may follow.

An octopus performed a private pantomime, complete with costume changes and drama to keep me hooked for the duration.

So incredible!

I’ve been reading a lot lately, and I’ve been fortunate to come across some really thought provoking and engaging reading, God is not Great by Christopher Hitchens, Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts and Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. All of the forcing my mind to wake from it’s long slumber, easing me into questions about right and wrong, good and bad, choices, freedom, happiness

what it is to want.

I have a wonderful Friend, Felix, who whilst journeying through South America has stopped for a short while in Peru to volunteer.
Whilst there he has been very obviously moved to help a particular individual whose plight has left a big impression. Unable to help on his own he has written to all of us, his friends, and asked for our support in raising the paltry sum of 200 euros which will make a world of difference to this person, potentially the difference of whether her or her children survive yet another harsh winter.

My heart breaks to think of my Friend in such a situation his heart always so big and his conscience too pure to allow him to look the other way.
I am moved for the plight of this stranger only by seeing it through the eyes of my Friend.

And I am not sure whether this is a fact to be very ashamed of or very grateful for?

I am in a foreign country too, surrounded by a different kind of poverty. As I write I have a final and negative bank balance of – 13euros, and the money in my wallet amounts to around 5 euros and that is my entire financial means.
I will be paid tomorrow, probably around 250 euros which will barely cover my basic needs for the month ahead.

I have my excuses.
They are very real.
I don’t know how to get money from here to there I only know that it is time consuming and costly.
I cannot afford to help, if I give money to this, I will not only have to forfeit a few meals but I will potentially have to forfeit being here.
I don’t know this person, and I know many people here who need a helping hand and if there was money to spare would appreciate it incredibly.
I am one of them!

But I will give him money It won’t be much but it will be something.
Because it is the right thing to do.
Because someone I know has gotten up and gotten out has left the TV and the couch behind in an effort to learn and understand more about the word around him.
Because someone I know is trying to make a difference.
Because someone I know is trying to save a life.
Because the whole world is walking by and looking on while he does so.

Thinking of you all and missing you always

xx

This is his letter.

Dear friends, brothers and sisters, and fellow citizens of the world,

I´ve travelling in Peru for two months now and I´m just about to leave for Bolivia. Behind, I´m leaving a wonderful experience: the Amazon jungle, the Pacific, trekking in the Andes...but, above all, the peruvian people.

For those of you who don´t know, I have been in Pisco for the last few weeks volunteering with an amazing non-profit organization called Burners Without Borders Peru. The fundamental goal of BWB Peru project is to provide aid to the various communities that were devastated by last year´s earthquake which surpassed 8.0 on the Richter scale. This disaster left many thousands of people without a home, water, electricity and food. Furthermore, the bodies of loved ones were left in the streets of the city center and many people remain traumatized by the terrible sights and sounds as their city and homes collapsed around them.

BWB has been operating in Pisco for the last six months and now I´m one of over 250 volunteers that have joined in this assistance. BWB´s family support program allow volunteers to assist those families that have made their experience so memorable. These projects are taken on by individual volunteers and allow the volunteer to raise the needed funds, work with the family on construction specifics, and manage BWB volunteers to rebuild for the families.

Just a week ago, while we were building a public sanitation module, a woman came to me asking for some help. While many thousands of families found themselves without housing since the earthquake, living in small tents or provisional houses without any of the basic neccesities, in this case, Veronica came to me. And I couldn´t say no.

On the evening of August 15th 2007, Veronica lost her house and pretty much all her possesions when the earth violently shook her house for nearly three minutes. Her husband, not coping with the situation, left her a few months later. She was pregnant and with two little daughters, Siomara, seven, and Maria, two years old. For the last seven months, Veronica and the girls have been living in a provisional house on a hill outside of Pisco. During the day the heat is unbearable and at night, the temperatures can drop to zero degrees leaving Veronica and the children cold and often sick. It is the coastal peruvian desert. Furthermore, Veronica is in the final weeks of pregnancy and this is not the best of the situations for a baby´s first few months of life. She´s just asking for a solid floor and some other improvements in this drafty, humid and cold provisional wooden house.

While I consider myself truly privileged to be able to put all my energy to the reconstruction of this family, I´m still faced with the reality of the situation. Without funds, there is no way to gain the neccesary building materials to help Veronica and her daughters.

Therefore, I´m writing to you with the goal and hope of raising money for this family. Since all the volunteers pay for their own food, housing and transportation, ALL donation money will be used for giving Veronica´s family a chance of having a better life. It is just a small project, but in this situation a single cent is welcome.

In order to help this family gain even the most basics of living conditions, I am trying to raise at least 200 euros. If I am lucky enough to raise slightly more additional funds, that money will be used to help out with the family´s medical costs, and other hundreds of projects we have in mind as building more public sanitation modules to help out many families within the community. You realise that this communities were made from one day to the other. And what about the peruvian government? No comment. I´ve attached some photos which can give an idea of the reality they are living.

For those of you who are able to make a donation, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please feel free to forward this email to anyone, any company, or any organization that might be able to help out with this cause. Please read below for the quick and easy donation instructions.

Donations can be made directly to Burners Without Borders via our webpage at http://www.burnerswithoutborders.org/contact-info-1

then click Make a Donation to be directed to our paypal account. Non-paypal account holders are unable to leave messages with their donations. As soon as you have made a donation, please send an email to donation@burnerswithoutborders.org specifying that your donation is for Felix´s project. It´s that easy.

Please, also, write to me for any question or comment you would like to make. Well, this is not a TV add, it´s real life and it is our turn now. It´s me, Fèlix. Thank you for your generosity.

Love,

Fèlix

2008-05-27T18:26:00.002+07:00

Good Tattoo!

2008-05-27T17:43:00.005+07:00

Bad Tattoo!!!!

2008-05-27T16:25:00.015+07:00

And Then They Came……..!

5 weeks of visitors!
It started with Simons visit, arriving just in time for Songkhran, Thai new year and water festival, but unfortunately just in time for mine and Keira’s departure on a visa run to Kuala Lumpur.

(marking the anniversary of my departure from Pums and also the arrival of Aine and aebh to Phi Phi last year)

Fortunately his stay was for 3 weeks, fortunately because our 3 day visa run turned into a 6 day extravaganza.
We arrived at the embassy in KL the morning after our arrival to find that it too had shut for 4 days for the Celebrations! The effects of this inconvenience stretched far, on top of which Air Asia refused to change the return dates of our flights as we were 2 hours inside the 48 hour advance notice!

KL however was cool, well, actually I was in good company and I love the food in malaysia so in fairness my usual requirements for enjoying myself were adequately met!
It was a girls weekend away, K and I joined with Claire from Hippo Divers and Lisa from Blue View Divers, and we had gotten a good package, return flights from krabi and a really nice hotel for 3 nights right in bukit bintang for about 120e each. (now I know you guys at home are squealing at the idea of such a ridiculously good bargain, sure you can hardly go to Cork for the afternoon for a coffee without spending that I know! But! And however! When you are earning the equivalent of a couple of hundred euros a month, that remains, just, a “good” package!)

We all set off with hangovers on the Krabi ferry, having celebrated Simons arrival the night before in true irish form , actually I lie, I made it in record time to the ferry. 5 mins from my house to the boat, narrowly missing all but one of the water balloons providing the obstacle course en route, and arrived still drunk I think and fired up on adrenaline from my krypton factor styled dash, and proceeded to entertain (Irritate??) everyone for the next several hours of the journey ; >

The taxi ride from the pier to krabi airport was a sight! The streets were lined with people with hoses and vats of ice cold water, stopping traffic, and soaking everyone, pity those on motorbikes! On top of which, hundreds of open backed vans were driving around doing exactly the same thing. Just picture for one moment the fun and chaos that ensued at a red traffic light! No escape! Everybody has to just stand there and take it as gallons and gallons of water is flung wildly in every direction!

Songkhran’s awesome!

Anyway aside from the aforementioned inconvenience, KL passed without further incident. The shopping there is incredible, supermall upon supermall, from Jimmy Choo to Topshop to little malaysian stores, the choices were endless. Lots of options for food, topping my list as favourite, was, as ever in malaysia, the tiny little Indian street stalls where you can eat the best food, lovely sweet milky tea, and the freshest naan and roti canai you’ve ever tasted in your life, eat and drink til you burst for under 2 euro!

Claire and I booked into a lovely cheap guesthouse for the last night called Traveller’s Palm Lodge, run by the lovely and gracious Suzy, who welcomed us with open arms. Her charming lodge is a must for anyone on a budget in KL. Cheerfully furnished and decorated with colourful batiks from her boyfriends gallery, and with a beautiful courtyard to complete the scene.

Anyway, ultimately, everything worked out. Everyone got Visas, nobody got fired and Simon was being well catered to by Jemma who was delighted to have found someone who had the stamina and willingness to party as much if not more than she does!

We all caught the overnight Train from KL to Had Yai, and after much faffing by taxi drivers there managed to find one that raced us back to Krabi, arriving with minutes to spare to catch the last ferry back home to Phi Phi!

No time to recover! I arrived back to a shop where the only two other staff working there had quit / been fired?! And to a cousin I love that I hadn’t seen in 6 years (and who I hadn’t spent any real time with since we were teenagers!) who had only 2 weeks to play catch up!............no rest for the wicked!

It was fantastic being able to hang out with Simes. And sure of course, true to form, within a week he was introducing us, the “locals” to people, shouting “divil a bit” and “shake the leg of a lamb at it”! and in his departure we still have people coming up to us with puppy dog faces asking where Simons gone!

We boozed , we hiked, we boozed, we ate, we boozed, we snorkeled, we boozed……..you get the idea I think?!

I could just not keep up. The man is a machine. Limitless capacity for energy, for entertaining, for people.

I have been left a little in awe of how open and able he is. And as ever, in Simons wake I have been left feeling like a little girl, watching the master juggler whilst desperately trying to keep all my own balls in the air, but, in fact, left just sitting in a pool of them with a big fat lip on my face. wondering how it’s done, cos I, my friends, still have no idea.

I went along as a snorkeller on his diving forays and played tag 12 meters above him and K and his diving buddy Caroline. We saw our first turtle together, and in fairness, the turtle was a giver!

Having played around with them under the water it came up and swam around with me for a bit on the surface! Surfacing inches from my face I was paralysed with excitement!
I saw my first scorpian fish that day too, sooo pretty! Not like the pictures at all!
We had the lovely Lisa record a day too, capturing us and Phi Phi both above and below the water on dvd! Beautiful!

Sean and Jan were arriving in bkk the day before simon was flying out, and were planning a visit to Phi Phi before they flew to Oz, but unfortunately missed each other in all 3 places! I think a reunion is planned for San Fran though, fingers crossed!

All in all it was a fantastic few weeks, and he left more than a few sad faces behind him when he finally had to leave.
A few quiet tears walking away from the pier and thus normality ensued….or so I thought!

The next day, the phone rings……..

Sean and Jan are en route to phi phi, arriving on the next ferry! I hardly had time to collect my thoughts, never mind my breath, and I was on my way to the pier to pick up the Bangkok shocked pair!

God love ‘em both, they arrived fresh off the boat, both paler than a virgin on her wedding night!

They Stayed with me for a few nights and then moved upmarket to the lovely Casita. Weather had not been great for a few weeks, phi Phi was on the receiving end of the tail end of the burmese cyclone ie. Lots of wind rain and high seas and only little pockets of sunshine. Of course all of this while still (at least by irish standards) remaining very very hot!

But they braved on through the mosquitos, the sunburn (how on earth they managed to burn I will never understand!) and the seasickness to having a great holiday, and instead of stayin for the intended few days, decided to stay for the whole two weeks!
It was brilliant. The pair of them are just so adaptable and easygoing. On the menu was diving, hiking, snorkeling climbing. Early mornings and a few late nights (and indeed a few late nights that became early mornings!) and I fitted in where and when I could.

(sometime around this time, one member of staff returned to work, and my boss came down with Dengue fever and had to be hospitalized! Again 2 people running the shop!)

We hung out, we played pool and Keira added yet another family member to her list of diving students!

Sean whipped Jan's ass at diving and she whipped his at climbing! Fair’s fair!

Somewhere in the middle of all this, my friend Dave, who’s teaching English in Bangkok, received a visit from his lovely sister Caroline, and we all received a visit from them both!

We got the nervous but oh so brave Irishman out of his depth with a mask and fins, his ever so trembling sister a tattoo, and everybody got to see Nemo, which meant everyone was happy!

Good times were had, Pums and Le Grand Bleu did well out of us as we did of them. Sunflower looked after us at the end of most nights, potent banana daquiris provided by the ever so affable Captain max Sparrow, who managed to stay smiling even at 6 in the morning whilst we all put right the wrongs of the world!

We said a sad (but hungover) goodbye to Dave and Caroline, which was followed a few short days later by an even sadder goodbye to my baby cuz and his gal. (Keira and I in receipt of a beautiful and oh so thoughtful silver bracelet each as a thank you!)

All were fed and watered and got brown (ish!) and sent happily n their way!

Dave was good enough to give them a guided tour of Bkk on their last two nights in the country, which I’m delighted to say gave them a far more positive impression than their first time round!
Cabbages and Condoms seemingly becoming a regular with the Lotti clan!

The lovely Claire left just yesterday for the low season and it’s only a matter of days before Jemma banana heads home too!

Part of life on an island like this is getting used to people leaving. meeting great people, sharing in wonderful times before watching them continue their travels or return home, and waving goodbye. Sometimes are just that bit harder than others.

Work has been getting harder, it’s been far too many weeks now of extra pressure and no real timetable without a lot of support for not much gain! Low season has well and truly hit, and the drop in customers is tangible, especially so I expect for next months wages.
No evenings off and no afternoons to even think about yoga, I am finding that I am spending much of my mornings off sleeping late, which is not like me at all over here, but I think it’s just my recuperation period for the moment.

Also, the building we are in at the moment (and the neighbouring ones too) is being demolished in the next few weeks and we have to move to a newer office in a less than prime location? Fingers crossed that it all works out ok.

I’m sure that these are just creases that with some time and effort will be able to be ironed out. And I always knew that the biggest challenge of coming back would be in getting through the low season.

Probably because I am still so new here and not yet really established, it is easy to feel insecure about a lot of things. Hard to go with the flow cos you always have to try and stay two steps ahead!

I have finally discovered the joys of mango! For some reason I just have never been able to come round to it here? Honestly I always thought it tasted of ashtray! Yes I know that makes me a freak! Especially now that I cant even imagine something so lovely ever having tasted like ashtray? Wondering if my new found liking for mango is directly proportional to me having given up cigarettes???!

Anyway my ramblings have started to wander even further off course than usual so I shall finish here!
Sending extra special love to all of my family, for recently the challenges I know have been plentiful.

Big kisses 'n hugs to Ains, missing having u near.

(Extra sloppy kisses and bear-y hugs to Aine, mum ‘n Ciars for not bein close for ye’re birthdays or mothers days!)

Hope the rest of you are lovin hard and livin large!

xx

xxxxx

2008-04-07T14:31:00.019+07:00

It’s a beautiful day, breeze blowing through my hair and the heat, thank god, blessing me with an unexpected level of comfort on this balmy day.
An unexpected day off (in fact I have two in a row!) and I have chosen to spend it in a hammock in an undisturbed corner of sunflower bar.
I have spent the last two hours finishing one of the most powerful and emotive books I have ever read, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseine. And I am left feeling rather strangely/ironically at peace with the world?

Alternating between sips of sweet water and banana shakes, cool tunes breezing unobtrusively through the bar, and the sea at my side waves excitedly lapping the shore……at this moment in time I don’t want to be anywhere else in the world or in any better company than my own.

Time to reflect on the choices I’ve made, the people I have been fortunate enough to meet and those who I have been even more fortunate to learn from and how the simplest of things, a smile from the heart, a line from a book can just, change everything?
In the grand scheme of things, not a lot of time has passed since my original departure from Phi Phi, but being back here now and sitting here today, it doesn’t feel like I ever did, yet, so much has happened and so many experiences have come to pass.

Working here has been intense but is making me very happy. I have a very good group of people around me both as colleagues and as friends, and though we are all still figuring out the best way forward, we are doing it together, which in itself, makes everything worthwhile and rewarding.

It has been strange returning to the absence of old friends, but I like too the fragility of the safety net. It keeps me motivated.

It’s a nice job too, depending on perspective I guess. But mine offers me the opportunity to meet so many people, who for the most part are interesting and lovely in often very unexpected ways, and I get to help make their experience here richer. I get to share with them experiences that they will remember always, and some that even change them, like introducing them to diving or yoga, or sometimes even just by being the person that took some time for them. And they tell you; almost every day at least one person will make a point of taking the time and say thank you for something special. It’s lovely.

Even in this short space of time there have been several who have stood out, who have shared with me, who have somehow enriched my time here, and a small little “band of brothers” that did so quite significantly.

The arrival of Mika, and the subsequent arrival of Yvo and Eric with their warm smiles and open hearts, brought with them something special to Phi Phi and to me.
Reminding me how easy a smile can be, and how beautiful it can make a face! and how music really is what makes the world go round.

I feel inspired. And that, my friends, has been a longtime coming!

Everything is taking shape and finally, my sense of direction has become more keen.
I have finally managed to quit smoking in Phi Phi (a nigh on impossible task as I once thought!)

I have moved into a beautiful bright room with a stunning view of the bay, and running water!!
Big news considering there has been a drought for the last 3 weeks!

I have a new favourite snorkeling spot thanks to Les Parisiens, and a rather challenging hike there and back is becoming a regular feature at dawn. But it does allow me views like this which make the journey all the more worthwhile!

We seem to have rather successfully introduced a roster to the shop, whereby we all get a rather substantial amount of time off each and every day AND one entire day off a week!! This will now permit me more time to pursue the things I love and spend time with the people that make this place so so special.

Finally yoga can resume its place as a regular feature in my life and today (which is about a week after I started writing this blog) I am heading to the cliff for a couple of hours rock climbing with the girls, determined to conquer the rather strange development of vertigo in my old age? Beat it before it takes hold I reckon?!
I am finally challenging myself to learn how to swim! 30 years on this planet and I still haven’t learned how to swim can you believe it!
I am determined that by the beginning of next high season that I will be fit and healthy enough (and by way of some miracle, asthma free!) to finally be signed off to dive.

Everything! Finally!

I get lazier the more I can take for granted. Here, taking anything for granted is difficult!

I am living humbly and I like who that helps me become. I am more ready for this island second time round. I am more ready for the challenges she wishes to seduce me with. The early mornings and sometimes even the late nights! The delights her people want to share with me like poi, climbing and yoga. Even her scurrying scuttling critters that defy me to stay and face them rather then flee and cry like the girl I am!

Today I am invincible.
Strong like bull! Ha ha ha ha.

It was difficult to leave everybody at home this time much more than last. It’s strange that although I haven’t lived at home since I was 18, I’m feeling that it’s quite possible that it has only been now that I’ve actually flown the nest?
Something’s changed. I have become older. And that is ok.

I had to make a decision, and I chose me. I did the right thing. I am in the right place.
I hope that all the people I love find the courage to make the same decision at whatever stage of their life it presents itself.
Courage, because the problems that those kinds of decisions can bring, can often appear insurmountable.
The people I have had to leave, and it honestly broke my heart to do so, have all individually supported me in leaving. I am an exceptionally fortunate young lady.
Or maybe…… it’s just my time?

I had the pleasure of sharing the journey out here with Ger, and Dave joined us here in Phi Phi in the first week, taking Ger with him back to Bangkok when he left. It’s always lovely to share this place with people from home, introducing old friends to new!

Perfect Circles.

It’s good to be back!

2007-06-05T19:50:00.001+07:00

Ok Folks!
Writing now what seems will be the final chapter of the day for me and Phi Phi.
Was kept waiting long enough for a response from the hotel regarding the job teaching English, (and a negative one at that!) that now it really is time to start making some money IMMEDIATELY : )
Which means……
…..Coming home!

Wow! It really has been a bit of a whirlwind adventure, hasn’t it?! So many mixed emotions that it’s hard to give them adequate coverage really. Have been a bit ambivalent considering my return, staying or leaving? I’m kinda fine either way. It’d be nice to stay if I had a job that I could be excited about, I mean there are jobs here, there are some but they don’t interest me, and they’re not going to pay well enough for me to overlook that. On the other hand, I’d be very happy to stay here on a bare minimum if the job itself would be enough to overlook that, like with Pums, if it was something that could make me smile, and believe in.
The very fact of just doing anything to remain, negates the very purpose of being here.
And the idea of coming home is appealing too in many ways, everything just being easy! Being spoiled with the sheer accessibility of everything! Food, friends, hot water!! Aaaaah baths : >

So, really it’s fifty fifty,

Until….I think of the friends I’m leaving. Until I remember that in my spare time I won’t be able to go for a walk in the sun and just breathe. That every day I won’t be weightless, suspended in time and space in crystal blue water, exploring an unknown landscape and feeling like an underwater astronaut.
There’s something so “right”?, about the life I’ve been leading here, about the people around me, about how it all is. And I haven’t really even begun to understand what that really is.
I do know however, and believe, that there’s truth in one of the ultimate lessons that is, the less you have, the less you need. And I like that. That it just kinda naturally manifests itself here.

And Keira, the normality of being around each other and part of each others daily routine, or just being intermingled in each others dailies y’know? How is that just not going to be so?
And Tristan? I think we’ve probably spent more or less everyday together since he
arrived 6 months ago, and was even living in Patong the same time as me and for just about the same length of time too.
I know it’s not like these things are just going to be no more, these people are not going to disappear from my life by any means, that we’re still going to be part of each others adventures and lives, it’s just hard to imagine not physically being here for it all.

Poppin into DD for some potty mouth, Zen and laughter, calling into Hippo for the Brog-like camaraderie with K and Jo and Liam,
Andy and Becks. Online at Mojito Bar with the lovely Connie, and all the randoms, sensational massuman curry at Papaya with the even lovelier Nod who looks after us all with such graciousness I’m going to have to tear myself away! My breakfast lady who always knows what I want and brings out all the different parts at exactly the right time, and changes the discovery channel from thai to English when I come in, just for me! Speed races on my micro wonder bike with others passing when the mood just takes!

Wow!
I guess I’m more nostalgic already than I thought!

But then again I felt exactly the same leaving Cork, and all of you and y’know what, coming home I’m not worried about anything having changed, in fact I feel even closer to some of you now then I did before leaving, and I hated leaving Aine (amongst others of course!) and not being around for all the normal stuff, exactly the same as with Keirs and T now, and I know that nothing will have changed now, in fact I know now for sure that there’s some things that just never change, they just get given the opportunity to deepen.

Right! ENOUGH MAUDLIN!

What’s the plan? My return flights are already booked for later in the year so it’s just a matter of bringing the dates forward on them, for some reason I can’t do that online cos apparently the reference numbers on my ticket somehow don’t match the other information? And I can’t seem to find a contact e-mail address to ask anyone at Aer Lingus about it! So I think Aine’s making a few phonecalls for me today about it, once that’s sorted I’ll be on the next available flight home! A day a week, I don’t know? I guess it’ll be a surprise!

Will need a job that’s gonna pay! So keep your ears open for me : > will need a few weeks to take care of a few other things before starting work, so I guess will need something for around the start of July.

Tristan’s gonna be home in London for a few weeks and so might pop over for a few days around the time of my birthday, and there’s a possibility that Keira might possibly be paying a visit in August (ish), and there’s a few other faces I’ll be missing that have suggested they might be in the vicinity at some stage in the not too distant future, so really, it’s all good!

For those of you who were talking about paying me a visit, I’m sorry that it didn’t get a chance to happen. I was looking forward to sharing my new home with you.

For those of you at home, I can’t wait to see you!
Ye might want to put security in the English market cos I’m gonna be like a wild animal let loose in there!
And please go easy on me with the jager, I’m not the same girl I was when I left! And I’m only wee!

And whelton I’m challenging you to a yoga class, cos I know it was you laughing hardest!

And I’m open to dinner invitations starting now, cos I aint gonna have a pot to p*#s in when I get back so it’s nights in for a bit instead of nights out for playin catch up, but that’s ok, once things are more normal the tables will turn when I try to impress you all with my new found Thai culinary prowess!
You scared yet?!

Well, that just about covers it I guess, expect a few tears shed in Bangkok airport as I leave and no doubt a few more when I see all of you!

And next………?

I guess you’ll have to tune in again next week? Month?
We’ll see!

Lots of Love
X

2007-05-28T14:25:00.000+07:00

Breffni and Tuesday made it here just in time to save me from the blues of aine's departure!
They're en route from NZ where they had made a home of for the last few years. I think in an effort to soften the blow, much to my excitement, they decided to draw out their return and take the scenic route back to Eire! So, after a pit stop in singapore to visit Gary & Catherine they made their way to Kho Phan Ngan to party full moon style with Cian and his new wife (like they're young enough to be at that kinda thing? eh!) and then arrived in one piece like a breath of fresh air to Phi Phi, to me! Yaaaaaaay!
Hippo kindly guarded the bags while we got to hang out and tour a bit, sort out some accomodation at the charming Garden Home, and then go for a chill out drink at Carpe Diem. (think we actually made it to longbeach for a snorkel on that first day, before collecting the bags and got out for dinner too!)
Again not enough hours in the day. it's so hard to fit everything you want to do into a few days together, especially when you've so much catching up to do to!
We managed to do pretty well though!
There was a lovely girls staying here around the same time, called Gemma (kind of a friend of a friend...) and together with Tristan we had quite a good drinking and card playing team for when the rain hit (as it did that week quite regularly that week unfortunately)
we met up with Keira and her yoga group on occasion, where breffni, feeling super-confident surrounded by all these flexible gals decided to mouth off about how yoga isn't like a sport or anything and like ya there's some difficult positions alright but really there's not all that much too it...... and so there and then had to agree to a class, hurrah!

Tuesday got her Cooking Certificate for her Pums Little Shoes Class and her take home recipe book, happy days!
on top of that they managed to meet an old friend from NZ, right here on LongBeach, on their first day! these guys just fit in! y'know the kind of friends that you can bring anywhere and you never really have to worry, they'll just fit right in.
We hired a long tail for a snorkelling day out at Phi Phi Leh, caught some sun at Maya Bay (the famous Beach beach) and had a few days snorkelling down longbeach too. Tuesday saw sharks...Bref, did not : (
We all got into the swing of free diving, finding their first Buddha's Eye, these beautiful white stones ranging from tiny to huge, with a gorgeous swirling "eye-like' pattern on them.
again, Sunflower Bar became our regular night-time, day-time, any-time fixture, and for eating we made the rounds of a few local spots, Papaya (street kitchen) hands down it seems, gaining place as firm favourite! pretty good all-rounder but their Massoman Curry is definately a leader.
Can't remember the name of the lovely guy that works there, he shakes everyone's hand comin in and leaving, always teaches me one new Thai word each time, and when it comes to spicy or no spicy? it's " how many percent?" 20% or 50%?, i've slowly ben working towards my present 50%, Breffni of course went straight in at 150%! and he got it, tee hee hee. Ah fair dues, he finished it too!
As our time together was drawing to an end we did finally manage to get Bref to a yoga class. And whaddya know, he found it challenging, dare i say he even found it worthy! actually i think he really did have his head turned. it's funny how it is and how you're idea of what it was going to be are so far removed from each other! not that i'm...ahem..speaking from experience or anything : )
It was cool to hang out woithout any ties. no having to be back at work in an hour, no having that prior commitment to attend to, just, hangin. Chilling and chatting and laughing! i don't remember the last time i got to sit with Breffni just the two of us, quite possibly never! and he's such a cool cool guy. And Tuesday too, how often do you get to say to your loved ones (hands up) that you love their girlfriend (or boyf) as much as you love them?
i'm happy (and privelidged) to say that i can and do!
So glad ye came, love you both to bits,
can't wait til the next time XX

2007-05-27T21:54:00.001+07:00

Aine and Maeve arrived to Patong, directly to Pums where I was still at work, from Chiang Mai. A bit hungover and exhausted I was only too pleased to offer some respite with some great food thrown in aswell!
They had had a good time I think, elephant trekking and temple hunting, and had somehow ended up meeting some guy who used to own the bodega, think he might be living there now?, and goin on the ran tan.
Had recommended they stay in another gorgeous little boutique hotel, Baipho, just across the road from Pums and was really pleased to be able to escort the stragglers to a bit of luxury at what looked like just the right time!
We met up a few hours later, after I had finished and they had recouperated somewhat, and I guided them gently through the human zoo that was my home!
It was late and we were all a bit fragile and tired, but I think cos it had been so long since we’ve been able to just hang out, myself and Aine decided to keep going, when Maeve quite admirably decided to call it a night.
We’ll never learn, well, at least it doesn’t seem like I ever will anyway!
Back to Bangla Road, the throbbing G-spot of what is just an enlarged brothel of a town anyway, and straight to one of the trillion go-go bars lining the road and connecting alleys, for, of course, a jagermeister.
Actually, I was bringing her here under pretence. I actually wanted her to see the ass of one of the local ladyboy’s who dances there, stunning! I have never seen a more perfect or desirable ass in my life, and it belonged to a bloke?!
Hung out there for a beer and made our way back, fighting through the menus and offers of such exotic delicacies, staunchly and determinedly (and yes at this stage quite drunkenly [actually I should clarify that, Aine was quite in command of herself, I was a disgrace, but a happy disgrace, who already needed to be sick, but was not about to let a little thing like that get in the way!]) making our way to Patong’s other hotspot, Paradise Road, kind of a gay Bangla, no less lively, no less opportunity for those who are looking, just, a lot less coarse and a lot more fun!
We arrived at Boatbar just in time to catch the last of the cabaret, met some mentaller from London (great dancer, built like a brick house, and more speed in him than that dude from the fast show), met a cool Asian chick and her lunatic Asian girlfriend, drank too much, laughed a lot and had to be taken home before I fell over, by Aine who ironically had become more sober the more she drank?
Met up with them both a few days later in Phi Phi, I had handed in my notice by then, and was on a few days (extended, ….long story!) holidays for Songhkran, Thai New Year.
Keira had them already on high alert, i.e. “no time to waste, lots to do and lots to see and hardly enough time in the day!” and what with yoga and diving and snorkeling and cooking classes and tryin to fit in some sunshine and food, she was absolutely right!

Courtesy of the lovely Tom from Visa Divers, I got to join in as a snorkeller on their diving endeavours. Open water completed and passed with flying colours, these girls were naturals, (apparently somewhat surprising with them being doubly disadvantaged being Irish and female! Us fair Irish cailins do not have the best reputation in the diving world for competency and comfort as divers?!).
We rented kayaks and took ourselves to a gorgeous little beach outside Loh Dalum Bay, where I actually managed to free dive for the first time!

We got the lovely Brian to take us out sailing for Aine’s birthday, packed plentiful supplies of food, fruit and booze, headed for the nearby Bamboo Island and somewhere in between and had a wonderful day chilling, snorkeling, feasting. We stayed in Loh Dalum Bay taking in the sunset, returning to land after dark exhausted and happy.

The girls at his stage were starting to realize that it might be a good idea to extend their stay in Phi Phi just a little bit longer…..(see, this is how it happens! It just kinda sucks you in!), they still really hadn’t had any down time, and had only a week left in their hols and so it was decided. At pretty much the same time I got the phonecall saying there was no need for me to return to work the following day to work out my notice, just to come and collect my things! Good timing really, if it had to happen then I’m glad it happened while I was in good company.
So we spent their last week just chilling really, catching some sun at the pool in their resort, Pitharom, run by the lovely Narong.

This is where Ains and Maeve were staying and also where Keira’s yoga retreats now stay. Khun Narong refers to Keira as “your highness” : ) and by default I have yet again become “the princess”! he’s a very lovely man who has his heart broken from Keira on an almost daily basis, with her plaintitive demands, (she wants him to build her a yoga studio and accommodation and improve their breakfast and their vegetarian options and….!!!) and he smiles supportively, and minds her and laughs and says no problem and that these are all very good ideas, all the while guiding her gently (but directly) to the door, waving goodbye! “see you tomorrow” ha!
But the really funny part…..the plans for the yoga studio are already under way, and I’m sure for everything else too!
He’s a gem!
He had made moves towards getting me to work there as a customer service rep, but alas, it just wasn’t workable.

We hung out at sunflower bar, gorgeous beach bar, chilled out tunes, fairy lights and cushions etc, quite a bit and worked on our reputation for mai tai’s, I think Maeve liked this part the best, end of the evening just kicking back, having nowhere else to be but sitting under the stars, with good booze and good company.
Spent lazy days at longbeach, sunning and snorkeling at the lovely reef there, home to a stunning array of fish, blacktips and we even saw an octopus!
Tristan got made into a mermaid under the careful sand craftsmanship of Aine, leaving him in no real position to deal with the amorous (and then snarly) attentions deployed by a nearby local mutt!
Snorkellings been quiet since they left. Nobody else seems to have quite the same instinct for understanding and indeed being understood underwater as me and Aine did!
She knew that “blub blubba blu blub blub blu” quite rightly meant “wow isn’t the ever adapting nature of the environment so perfectly represented by the lightening colour change of that octopus under attack, yonder” to which she would respond “ blub blub bl blu”, meaning, “yes Leah, quite right” and then we could both continue grinning like fools!
Alright alright, it was probably more like, “ wow did you see that?” oh my god that’s stunning, will we follow it?” “no lets look over here” “ooooooooohh “ (frantic pointing and gesturing) “SHARK!!!!!!” (followed by swimming like mad women in general direction) and often accompanied by hysterical screaming and frantic thrashing about in the water, from maeve who some distance away (who as we relievedly discovered on many an occasion was not actually being eaten by a shark, but..) was trying to frighten a poor little pufferfish into puffing up.
Think we got more of a fright than the pufferfish!

The girls got to meet other people too, which was cool, I think it makes it feel less like a holiday when you’re able to walk around the island, bumping into people you know and have people sayin hello. And with me and k being such lightweights it was good they had a few other options for boozing!

I think maeve had a good time, I think she enjoyed her stay but that it was enough, and I’m sure she was lookin forward to clean sheets and power showers on her return, though, I have a sneaking suspicion that in her quiet moments there’ll be a moment of longing accompanied by a quiet sigh, remembering all that glorious sunshine and those ice-cool banana shakes!

Aine, I wonder….
i think she connected a bit more, don't think for one minute that it would be a lonterm consideration for her but i think she'd like to be here more often....
ya....i'm pretty sure she'll be back

2007-05-27T21:52:00.000+07:00

Hello all!

Sorry it’s been so long. So much has been happening and changing, It’s been easy to put off updating you all, waiting for things to settle so I could give this post a beginning a middle and an end, but I think I might have to get used to things not ever quite getting a neat and tidy ending, and as we all know it’s the journey that counts, so….. here it is, x.

My journey with Pums came to and end about 6 weeks ago(ish)not sure I want to recount all the details right now, it seemed to involve a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings and hasn’t left a very good taste in anyone’s mouth. I’m struggling to hold my head up since, but, though I found it a very difficult situation to do well in, I’m holding onto the fact that I really did do my best and gave it my all, and even though that does not seem to have been good enough, I don’t feel that in any way it can be justifiable to think badly of it.
Just before I finished I got to meet up with Anton in Bangkok for a night, on his return from a work trip in India , which was so cool. Work had been relentless up to that, and it was a well needed respite. Coincidentally, Aine and her friend Maeve arrived the same night, which was an emotional and welcome reunion! I hung out with Anton for a few hours (which was enough time for me to lose my phone) and then we all went to a nice restaurant, Cabbages and Condoms (instead of an after dinner mint you get an after dinner condom with your bill!), we had good grub and great booze and hung out there for a few hours, catchin up and getting rosy. Great night : )
Stayed with Anton in a gorgeous little boutique hotel, the bedrooms Bangkok, lots more chatting and catching up and had most of the next day with him too. Bought a new phone, which I managed to hold onto for all of three weeks!
Arrived at the bus stop the next day for the airport an hour earlier than necessary, which was as surprising to me as I’m sure it is to all of you! Two and a half hours later, with no sign of a bus I was forced to jump on a motorbike taxi and embark on a hair raising journey through Bangkok, ramping speed bumps at a speed that ghost rider would’ve been proud of, with a driver who even managed to scare himself a few times. Fun!!
Got there too late, but they all cooperated and ran me through every procedure anyway, and with an escort and lots of walkie-talky-ing, got me on my flight!
(there’s some kind of a lesson in there for Ryanair with regards to customer service!)
Unpredictably, my job ended more or less as the same time as Aine’s arrival, so we got to hang out in Patong for a night before all catching up on Phi Phi a few days later and got to hang out for the best part of two weeks. Just after the girls departure more or less, arrived Breffni and Tuesday, on their return voyage from NZ, and that brought us up to about two weeks ago.
Now I’m facing crunch time.

Am gonna have to leave Phi Phi in the very near future, it’s coming into low season here so what remains of the job options are unsustainable financially, and it’s a very expensive island to “hang out” on. My resources have all but dried up, and because my months notice was not accepted in Pums, I unforeseeably had to pay for an extra months expenses, without that last months wage.
So… decisions!
I have only two options really. One is to come home and look for work, build some finances and take it from there, and two is to maybe take a chance on an island on the gulf coast, which is coming into high season now.
Not sure at the moment but will have decided for sure in the next few days.
Never know, might be seeing you all next week!

Ok, it’s only been like two days since I wrote that bit and it’s all up in the air again!
Had been asking around here for work but to no avail, and on my way to the beach yesterday I un-optimistically popped into this gorgeous new 5 star hotel and asked about a job maybe in customer service, I was asked to take a seat (in my shabby beach clothes with my shabby beach hair!) and the manager appeared for a chat. Turns out that at the moment though they are not really in need of someone for customer service, they really really want an English teacher for their staff!
And, whaddya know, he thinks I speak very good English!
He knows I’m not (yet!) qualified but I seemed to find that much more of a problem than he did. I told him there was no way I could start before three weeks time (to give myself a good shot of at least being closer to the end of this course than the beginning!), and though he was keen to start asap, that seems to be ok. Accommodation and food included, all that’s left to do is see what he thinks about my proposal, which I’m dropping in tomorrow, and talk about money.
However!
(isn’t there always a how and an ever : >)

If I start in three weeks that means I won’t get paid before seven weeks time and I certainly don’t have the funds to be hangin about Phi Phi for seven weeks with no cash coming in, so…..
Goin to tell him tomorrow, that if he likes my proposal and he thinks I’m a suitable candidate, I will need his accommodation and food proposal to become effective immediately. This way, aside from dealing with my immediate financial concerns, I will have a quiet place to study and get up to speed on this course? We’ll see,
Fingers crossed eh!

Right I’m about to go blind from this computer, I’ve been on it all day, and it’s time for bed.

Congratulations to the newly engaged Ger and Anne!
This is being sent with a million hugs and kisses,
Best News Ever!
(who could have predicted the power of an apple sidekick!)

It’s nearly your turn now chico, yah, you know who you are ; >

X

2007-03-04T23:19:00.004+07:00

LOVE, LIFE AND WORK..........

well!
where to start?
i'm sure you are all wondering whats been going on in the last few months and i haven't really had the time to tell you. now that i do, however, it all seems so mundane!
News?
what it always boils down to i guess, is love, life and work!
am i right?
this is all far too huge to fit into one posting, so i'll make it a trilogy and you can read the ones your interested in!
it should keep you upto date and busy for a while........

enjoy!

2007-03-04T23:19:00.003+07:00

LOVE, LIFE AND WORK (1)..............
Part 1 of 3.............Love (Life and Work)

so.........love?

not sure i've ever believed in the sentiment that "you can't choose who you fall in love with...", i mean maybe you can't, but you can absolutely choose your actions regarding it right? you can decide that maybe this is the right time and allow yourself to be vulnerable to it, you can decide that it's not and be careful with your actions so as not to encourage it, you can cease all contact if you choose, or alternatively, actively pursue it....in short, you have the choice, and you have the obligation, in my opinion, to be honest abut your expectations, sometimes perhaps, not just with yourself.and yes of course i'm talking about this with regards to people who have feelings for each other, not just the "ooh i fancy a bit of that" kinda thing!
i don't think it's dishonest or even misleading to feel a certain way about someone, and not want to pursue that. and to be able to be honest about something like that, to be able to be strong enough and vulnerable enough to admit that takes a certain amount of courage certainly, but moreso, i believe, shows a lot of consideration for the other person involved?
i mean you could just go with your feelings and not think about the inevitability of the situation, which ultimately is going to not just hurt yourself but have encouraged somebody else to allow themselves to get hurt too, right?
perhaps?
i generally face a lot of disagreement on the matter.
i suppose where it does get complicated, is, though this is how i see it and i have learned to trust my needs and my instincts, i have probably put so much time and effort into that, i haven't at all learned how to relate or be particularly sensitive to handling the needs of somebody who doesn't see things quite the same way. and to be honest, that's 99% of the people i know. it does sound, i know, like a great deal of arrogance on my part, to still believe in something that almost everybody i know would tell me is wrong, but i do. i have yet to be convinced otherwise, i just hope to learn a better appreciation for those who aren't coming from the same place.
as you might have guessed where this is leading to....i met someone.
i met someone very shortly after arriving, someone wonderful and beautiful, who allowed me to see, for the first time in a long time, that i could want that again, and more unexpectedly, that i could have that again.
however, (doesn't there always seem to be a but!) i knew when i was leaving, to travel, that i wanted to stay single. i knew before i even left, that that is what i need. i mean i've been single for two years now, but i have only been truly single for perhaps the last few months before i left. i had only truly started to move on and feel free of my last relationship in that time. i had started reading and learning and coming alive and having fun in that period, i had started to realise my options and my capabilities again during that time, in short, i woke up and i stopped feeling sad!
with all due respect to those of you who are in relationships, and making them work, it's just not something i want or feel would even be good for me. i am, and have always been the best version of myself when i am single. i have always been more pro active, more confident, more capable, less compromised, and never ever lonely, as a lot of people seem to suggest would be the case.
in fact, and as ironic as it seems, as was once pointed out to me by an incredibly astute friend of mine, my truth is that i have never been so lonely single, as i have at those times in a relationship, when your partner lets you down in some way or walks away from you in an argument or perhaps doesn't come home after one. that kind of loneliness is really the only kind i can relate to, and this nonsense idea that seems to flourish when you ask someone why they are so desperately looking for love, common response being "but i don't want to end up on my own". i have no intention of ending up on my own! even if i remain single to the end of my days i fully expect to be surrounded by good friends and to have family and wonderful people to talk to and laugh with and love.
since when did that domain get commandeered by the marrieds?
despite apearances, i am not anti relationships or by any means anti men, in fact i hope to have many actually, relationships that is, not men......although..!
seriously though, i do, but at a time when i have learned to balance somebody elses needs against my own, and i have not learned that yet.
at a time when i have more to offer, and i feel that i have yet to spend more time on my own and be selfish to my own needs before i can.
at a time when i believe that that choice offers me more than what i have, and i do believe that is a rare find.
and at a time when i have addressed the 1 or 2 lingering demons that remain.
this is what i believed before i left, and despite the beautiful challenge that faces me, is what i still believe now.
but as we all know, the line tends to blur, particularly when the sun is shining and your laughing, and your warm and your happy and what you want is confused by what you know......and you're confused and so then they're confused because they can see that in you, and then they get hurt anyway because they don't understand and it all becomes a mess because i don't know....... how to not be..... who i am
which upon re reading this myself, i'm sure you'll all agree, is a disaster area!!!
maybe i should get a new tattoo afterall!
one that reads handle with care!
or perhaps more appropriately proceed with caution!!

i wait inevitably and hesitatingly for the comments to pursue! Julia i hope you're out there to balance them ; )

2007-03-04T23:19:00.001+07:00

LOVE, LIFE AND WORK (2)..............
Part 2 of 3........ Life (Love and Work)

so..........Life!

Life is good! though few parts of it are simple or straightforward at the moment. i am in Thailand, and that is just how thailand is, it seems, and that's ok. whatever trouble i'm having or difficulties i'm facing, i am facing them here and it is just trouble in paradise.
i am so glad i came, i am so glad i'm here.

in malaysia recently, in penang on a visa run, in a gorgeous grotty little bar, i read on the wall........I didn't go where i intended to go, but i ended up where i intended to be.
and it just about sums it up.
i thought i'd hate thailand, i thought i'd be offended by phi phi and it's descent into commercialism, i thought by now i would be in china or japan teaching english, and here i am.
Home?
i don't know. it feels like it could be. oftentimes, it feels like it already is. i certainly find myself, and in fact other people too, asking when am i going to get home, and we are always without question referring to phi phi. is that possible in such a short space of time?
time will tell i guess.

i hardly get to see keira these days, in fact since i came to phuket i think i saw her once at xmas, so it was great to go to penang together even if it was a nightmare to get there and back, it was 4 days that we got to spend together, which of course overshadowed any difficulty we encountered along the way. we laughed, we cried, we talked for hours on end, in fact days on end, and it still all ended too soon. we ate and ate and ate, the gorgeous indian food on offer at every streetside corner (aaaaah roti!), we re-discovered carlsberg special brew! which was for both of us a first in the 12-14 years since, with her friend claire, we drank the brog dry of it and the night descended into debauchery and chaos, and oh what fun!( claire this one is for you!)

she limited herself to one for old times sake, i of course decided to give it a lash, and managed to get to 5 and felt i was going strong.......and then the bar closed! possibly because i was on a promise to the barman that if i made it to 6 i'd be given one free or possibly because i had started taking photographs of the giant rats that were keeping us company in the open sewers running alongside, i'll never know, but i was fine!..honest : >
ha!

my assimilation has belatedly but welcomely begun!
i am now starting to think in thai baht. gone are the days of thinking, 1000 baht, wow! that's only twenty quid! i have now been heard to utter 700 baht for a bikini, are you mad!! and still feel somewhat taken advantage of, (and no, not in a good way!) if i have to pay more than 200!

it's strange keeping a kind of diary like this, laid bare for all to see. some of the more personal parts are often difficult to write, and it would be impossible to write honestly if i were to try and write sensitively in consideration of any number of you who would rather not read what you do. for whatever reasons. it's open to all to see, to people who love me and know me and to people who don't. to my parents and family, to my employers and exes, and, as i was so unexpectedly reminded of recently, to the general public, strangers, who can and apparently do come across it from time to time.
i must always be first and foremost be true to myself, however, i do try, as i will now, to write with respect to any of you who i feel may come across this.

Scott arrived in phi phi recently from australia i think, as one of keiras yoga students on one of michelles retreats. one night as they all headed to pums for dinner, he mentioned that he knew i, her cousin, was working in the one here! turns out that when he googled yoga and phi phi he was directed to my blog, and by default, michelles website, decided he liked what he read and came along. how cool is that! apparently he's a lovely guy, and all was going well until he was involved in a nightmarish and freakish accident while kayaking one afternoon. somehow, not too far from the shore, he was hit by a speedboat, and near fatally injured and left for dead. he was picked up and brought to phuket, where he is now facing a lengthy recovery period, having suffered horrific injuries.
the reason i am writing about it is because, it seems that what is more important to him then compensation, and playing the blame game, is having what happened to him, make a difference somehow, to ensure it doesn't happen to someone else. as none of us are really in a position to make any real difference to the laws in thailand governing such issues, we all feel a bit helpless and unsupportive, and so this is a small gesture for scott, on my part. slim though it is, there is some possibility that one day someone will randomly come across this story, as he did mine, who can and will be able to actively support him in his hope for change. and by getting in touch, might lead him forward in his quest.

i feel like i should tell you a bit about the people i've met through work, but i've decided to keep anything work related for part 3

let me tell you about some of the other people i've met who've made an impression

Damien of course, the first person i met in thailand. Keiras friend, and present phi phi manager of pum restaurant.(www.pumthaifoodchain.com) a lovely skinny wee lad from the north so he is, with grace and a gentle presence and a penchant for wonderfully sacriligous t-shirts ( for example christ in his martyred stance, head hung low and arms outstretched and heavily laden with labelled shopping bags : > )to be worn with fisherman pants, and excommunicated i'm sure on return to eire, he is my barefooted friend with a contagious laugh and a comforting presence, who has taken me into his arms from the very first moment i met him.
he introduced tristan and i to the lively gay scene here in patong, cabaret like i've never imagined and often wake up screaming in the middle of the night because of !! and because of this, led us all to meet the gorgeous gorgeous abby and nick,
who somehow and unexpectedly became instant friends. though their stay here was brief, it seems and i hope, to have become a friendsip that will become lasting. through many lovely shared evenings eating out or staying out all night on the beach, what started as princess leah, progressed to tristan being my prince and somewhat organically we have rather interestingly and lovingly become known as the royal family.

i am incredibly lucky to have met tristan, who, though i met on phi phi, turns out to be living just around the corner from me here in patong! he has become an incredible friend, and a rock for me here, when things as they often seem to in patong, become overwhelming. what little free time i have is almost always spent with him. we hang out, we talk, we eat pizza and drink beer,
we drink cocktails and dine finely! and apparently he's going to teach me how to free dive? we'll see! he has made what would otherwise have been an unendurably long stay in phuket, one that i will treasure.

i have to mention, keiras friend and manager of hippo divers,(www.hippodivers.com), andy, who has the appearance of a typical essex boy, and i disliked instantly. he was one of the first people i met in phi phi, fresh off the boat, and who got me worried on my first day, realising that i was entering keiras domain and what if i don't get on with anyone of her friends there. in fact being andy, thats probably what he said to me instead of introducing himself cos that's just the way he'd be. he's rude he's brash, he's insensitive......he's great! being around andy as infrequent as it is, is, as i'm sure all you in the peoples republic(www.peoplesrepublicofcork.com) will understand, is just like being at home! i think he's possibly the only person i've come in to contact with here who when i said "i'll miss you most of all" to, appropriately answered "fuck-off" instead of "aw....thanks"! i can be cork with andy, i can be brog with him, he's very cool, a diamond in the rough and often a welcome antidote to all the damn niceness in this land, the land of smiles!

and then there's michelle. michelle is the creator of yogatraveller www.yogatraveller.com, and she's this incredible irish girl with enough drive to win formula 1 and enough determination to climb everest, in fact she probably has, .......twice!
she could successfully set up and run 5 companies in the time it would take me to get out of bed, and still manages to somehow maintain a rather peaceful and supportive presence. she's down to earth and lovely, and an inspiration to me.
she's been rather instrumental, in showing me the possibilities of what can be achieved if you put your mind to it, and thus showing me the possibility of having a life, somewhere as beautiful as this. for that......and for the frequent loans of her gorgeous little bright green boys racer with the basket, that makes me smile like a cheshire cat even when my knees are banging off the handlebars!, i am both fortunate and grateful.

the next milestone is aines impending visit! i can't wait! i actually start getting emotional when i think about it. only 1 more month to go! i'm not even sure that i'll have much more than 2 days off to spend with her but i have been told i can go work in phi phi that week so at least we can still get to hang out some then.

after that my 30th birthday is looming!
i'm rather strangely pleased about that actually, it feels like just the right age for me to be, fortunately right!
i'm not sure how i want to mark the occasion. i think the purchase of a laptop is long overdue and is a nice treat for myself, and keira has this friend brian, from kilkenny i think? who owns a big old sailboat, now i only got to meet him once or twice but i'm thinking of asking him for a price, (if i can arrange a night off) to take a few of us away overnight to mark the occasion, i'm not sure if we will all be able to manage unconflicting schedules, and it's hardly likely that even if i manage to get the day off that dee dee could too? and it would be important to me for him to be there........we'll see! if any of you are planning an impromptu visit, sunday the 24th could be a good time to arrive!

well that about brings you all upto date!

2007-03-04T23:18:00.000+07:00

LOVE, LIFE AND WORK (3)...............
Part 3 of 3.............Work (Life and Love)

okay now this might take a while!
as you all know i joined the company, thinking i had found my dream job in my dream location and that it just couldn't get any better....! and, well.....i did really, but i am having to work an awful lot harder than i could have ever been prepared for. and of course, life and work are never as straightforward as we tend to hope for.
i thought i was getting the opportunity to join and manage a lovely little restaurant in phi phi, and that a month in phuket, (in the busier restaurant there) would teach me all i need to know.
as it turns out, nothing was quite what it seemed and two months later i am still here in god awful patong, only really marginally closer ( actually the link is rather threadlike!) to the original plan.
not that this is necessarily a bad thing, you understand, as more opportunities than i could ever have imagined have opened up for me, and become possibilities, however the plan of action and my uncertainty about the direction in which i'm heading, are certainly, things which i need consider, and with regards to my future here, to take the time to re-evaluate. otherwise i'm sure, i will just be swept along in somebody elses idea of what is the right decision.
i am getting the opportunity to train and become an integral part of what it turns out is the ever growing and conquering empire of pum! it is a huge opportunity for me, to have arrived on the scene so early, in what i have no doubt is going to be, and deserves to be, worldwide, a hugely successful franchise.
it will give me the opportunity to learn many new and valuable skills, to travel, the ability to run my own business, and eventually also own one. all of which are great in themselves, but all the value of which is compounded by the fact that pums is beautiful, and what she is offering is beautiful, and it is a company i would be proud to market and sell.

how and ever!
it comes at exceptionally high price.
and, i, admittedly am struggling, with the expense.

there are so many things to consider in the struggle though, that, i really will have to take my time, and think about them all very carefully, before i either commit or decide against.
and unfortunately one of the major factors affecting everything in my life at the moment, is time, or perhaps more precisely, lack of it, and one of the lesser ones, control, of which i seem to have been relinquished.
my training here, due to many various circumstance, has been haphazard and inconsistant, and my ability to take it on and get it done myself i feel has been compromised. it's been an incredibly challenging environment to work in, and i have little confidence in what i have learned already. there is no doubt, i am having to earn my place in paradise!
i need to find perspective on what it is i feel i'm losing vs. what i have to gain, and i really don't have any.
i have hardly attempted any progress with the language, i don't have the time, i don't think i even have the available brain capacity at the moment, and i keep having it re-enforced that that is neither a necessity nor a priority. but to me it is.
i have a worry that pum, this incredible lady who i stand in utter awe of 50% of the time, and in disbelief and utter confusion with, the rest, might have an insecurity or fear that might mean giving anything less than everything, might not ever be enough. as it stands, having sacrificed everything that i have to sacrifice, the smallest amount of time for my family or friends, my expectations and my hopes for my life here, a beginning and an end to the day! a life? the space to question things or being involved in decisions that affect my future, though she says that of course it is enough, doesn't at all seem to be.
and of course, this is her baby. her heart and her soul. and i understand that. and to have achieved what she has is more than inspirational, it is setting the bar, but.
this is her baby, not mine. and as much as i love it and want to nurture it and see it grow big and strong....it never will be. it will be a job. a job that i love, a job that i would be overwhelmingly grateful to have, a job that i would protect and nurture, but a job. it would never be able to replace or fulfill all of my personal needs, nor would i want, or be able to, allow it to.
i can appreciate that now, in this learning curve, i can and will have to give it everything, but i also feel that if we all decide it's for the best that i stay on and do it, than it will have to be done in a way that i am in full comprehension of, and happy to live with.
i can only introduce you briefly to the people i am working with, as i am only getting to know them myself!
there is a conspicuous absence of interest, when working here, in anything to do with each other that is not work related. i have yet to decide whether this is cultural, or environmental, but i have to admit i miss coming to work and having people being interested in me, and who i am, and in being able to get to know them better. of the opportunity to get to know people not just on a professional level but a personal one, and of course that opportunity presents itself here from time to time, but it does seem to be rare.

the incredible and insanely energetic pi pum, who when she is here in the restaurant, doesn't just light up the room, but the whole street! she has a wonderful and engaging laugh and smile, and can, just by her presence make people feel like they've come home. she is incredibly smart, and thinks at a speed that leaves most of us wheezing and gasping in her wake! and through her restaurant, seems to have embarked on a one woman mission to show the world the beauty and richness of thai culture, thai food and indeed to rectify, the all too common, misconceptions about the capabilities of thai women. she's a force!

khun josh, is by contrast a calm in the storm. a strong yet peaceful presence in the restaurant, he is quite commanding, though has a smile that can dazzle. he is the kind whose presence is more physical than verbal, and when wants to make a point, can do so without even coming close to having to raise his voice! though my first impressions were that he might be a bit intimidating or hard, i have found in him, for the most part, a stability that i have come to rely on, and a control and ease that i respect. we have hardly had the opportunity to work together really, and i don't imagine he is a person that allows himself to become too familiar too quickly but i do look forward to getting to know him better

khun damien, or as you all know him better as by now, dee dee, is the ever calming, ever smiling glue that usually i feel manages to make everything ok for all of us. he's a witty and charming and only very occasionally hysterical package that comes wrapped in a demure and graceful padded envelope!

khun kana is the bubbly and charming accountant who does a bit of everything, and works, as we all generally do, wherever she is required. she has a smile that would have her forgven anything, and a gentleness and particularly charming thai politeness or sense of etiquette, that makes her quite the lady. she, in my best interests of course, has taken it upon herself to teach me (in the loveliest and least offensive manner) how to be "good thai lady"! so that i don't go around showing myself up i suppose! how to sit with my legs together, though i really do need frequent reminders on this one! not to speak while i'm eating.....i'm irish! i like to talk! and how to forgive, that one i am pretty good at, but there's a little way to go yet : )

nong natcha has impressed me no end! she's a tough looking girl, who arrived around the same time as me, quietly and with little english. she has transformed into this beautiful strong confident young woman with a sense of humour to kill, incredibly rapidly improving english and is the one thai person here who makes me really really regret my inability to communicate.

Pi boukie, works in the phi phi restaurant, and is the most unthai thai person i have met, she hates spicy food, she's into sports and fitness and discipline. she's an over achiever whose capacity and drive knows no bounds. she's beautiful and charming and her contagius mantra, that even becomes mine in her presence, is "happy happy, work work"! try clapping your hands for each word and saying it with your broadest possible smile and you'll get the idea!

Pi nina, is a challenge, she gossips and can be quite difficult. she is beautiful with a great laugh, and works very hard. but has a general feeling about her of being unappreciated. she seems to have an immense yet unrealised potential, i am interested to see how things pan out with her.

nong pui is our teacher, and she's girlish and giggly, with a high laughter level that keeps things bright. she works very hard and students love her!she has been here around 5 years, making her the most senior on the team. she gave birth to the gorgeous nong bua less than 6 months ago, introducing the youngest member of the pum family!

and that concludes the trilogy!
i hope that leaves you all satisfied ( if not a little exhausted!)
thanks for coming along with me, and for allowing me to keep up with you all through your contact.
loadsa loadsa love
x

2007-01-26T23:07:00.000+07:00

WISH YOU WERE HERE..........

Sa-wah-dee-kaaa! hello!
this is a bit of a more personal one, i just don't have time to write more than one letter a week at the mo,(if even that!) so this is going out to you all!!
i'l be a little bit organised though, i'll add a few headers so you don't have to read through everyone elses (unless of course you really want to : > )
will update you all further on my sagas soon, but for now i want to hear all of yours! if ye have the chance mail me at deikilotti@hotmail.com (and if your mail name is obscure, please make a header i'll recognise or it'll be deleted from my junk mail!!!) please do not post any personal information to this blog!! anybody surfing the net will have access to it! u have been warned : )

The Family!!

MUM, yes of course you're still #1! time to write me a big mail and keep me informed of all the dailies. want to know how work is going, and how vince is? and of course mundi! love you lots and miss you even more x
CIARS, update the god damn blog! it's lookin really good but seriously out of date now so c'mon! and i want a big long personal mail too! say hello to mary and c for me and please thank c for taking care of my w.u. hello to sonia for me.
DAD,if you're any good at letter writing then make a start, if you manage it let me know and i can text you my address. until we get u online it'll have to do! hope alls well with you both, talk soon ok
MAGS and PJ, really missed spending xmas with u this year : (
maybe you'll be inspired by ains, start recruiting now and it might be christmas in the sun next year??
TRINA and DON, i'd love a big long email telling me how things are going, and all about simes and paul. i know the way you write and i'd feel like i was right there if u did!
LOTTI FAMILY! bec and vince, c'mon now, i don't want you growing up behind my back! get online and tell me what's goin on, Tom and meld, that goes for you too!
ORLSYBORLS don't have time to chat but try and send a quick letter tellin me all the news!
AINSYBAINS aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! only 9 more weeks!!! i can't wait to see you!! you might have to bring an extra backpack mind! i've already started writing a want list!!
SEAN AND JAN don't lose touch, it was great this year gettin to hang out and gettin to know each other, dyin to know how things are going and whats on the cards for the year ahead
DONNA you're gorgeous! and thanks for makin me feel like i'm only over the road!
BREND, time for a mail girl, there's too much to catch up on for soundbytes!please apologise hugely to tim for me, tell him i'm thinking of him and i'm sorry for not having the time for him to see that. would love to hear how things are going for him. hugs and kisses to u, g, n + n, ps. how g's hand?
AUNTY JEAN you've never been a woman of few words! whats goin on!
CLAIRE, Time to put your a into g aunty claire, would love to hear from u, hughie and the girls!ps. any news on uncle mike? if you are talking to him please let him know i was aking for him.
could someone please let the fosters, (in particular, mena, tommy and patsy) know i've been thinking of them. and send a couple of bear hugs and kisses to siobhan b for me please!

AN BROG et al!!!

whats this i hear about a staff outing? it won't be the same without me y'know, you're just going to upset yourselves ; >

NK and MARY, thanks for keeping in touch, it's great to hear from you. Neil you got some catching up to do! Please tell mary and kathleen that i've been thinkin of them and pass on my regards. as for the other two....i'm missin them most of all!
WHELTON when you comin? and i'm long overdue a letter, i miss you!
BARRY, i'd love to hear how things are goin for you, hope alls fab, please tell lua i'd love to hear from her too, might even be about time ye started planning a trip!
ANTNY! i'm sure cian wouldn't mind if you wanted to come too!
ROISIN thinkin of you, miss workin with you, hope all's fabulous!
HANDSOME DAVE ur so pretty, when u comin ; >
DARRAGH you must have loads to tell me! everythings changed since i last saw u, keep me upto date
BROG STAFF!!! ( not the afore mentioned, i mean the ones who do the work!) missing you all hugely, and individually! would love to hear how you all are, when i think of you i feel very far away.
STONECOLD, hope ur still holdin the place together!
BARRY (QUBE) i only just got round to listening to those cd's u gave me, today!! (regina spektor and the cake sale) they're really good i'm so glad i brought them!! hope ur still all loved up, it suits you! would love to hear from you, hope alls well!
TONY FORD tony it feels like years! whats going on? please write a big letter and talk to me like we used to!
DEISH hello to you and your girls! L & Z must be getting so big now, if you have the time mail me on some photos, along with some of your obscure news, i miss your stories!!
ORLA it was great to chat b4 i left but i want more!
DAMIEN (QUAD) the divings so much better here than down wesht!
QUIZMASTER you should start a blog! i'd read it every day!you could even post some questions on it and saddos like me could pretend we're down d'brog on a monday, skullin pints, eatin sweets and drinkin apple sourz.....aaaaahhhh apple sourz : )
PETEY PETE your turn!
NINA hope you're keping that boy on his toes : > dyinto hear the goss!would love to hear from you!
DJ MENACE u still breakin hearts all over cork city and pretending not to notice? just discovered live stream so i'll be listening in when i can on a sunday!!think it's fate, my only day off is on a sunday and almost every other show thats on is on in the middle of the night for me!!
DJ COLM please start some kind of a web page, for those of us who are far far away but still want to be up on whats happening in music back home! is there any way of listening to your show other than listening live? and have a listen to my friend bill on his myspace page, just listened now and its fab! check out http://bcoleman.songwriter.ie and click on the myspace link."say it like you mean it" is gorgeous!

could someone pease pass on my regards to john murphy, and to mick (and philip) from the sin e. and has anyone any news on alannah or heidi? can't believe i missed fanny's homecoming, where is she now? cian can you pass on my regards to hedgey please, hope the restaurants goin well and any news on their baby? don't even know when they're due? big hello to paul gough and nelly too! someone please say hello to colm, and chris and sam for me too, Tanx!

THE MUTTON et al

ok, Felix, doc, lolo, guillermo, joanne (ur email doesn't work!) and niamh, talk to me, i miss you! hello to alvin and benny too!if any of you have ivanas email address could you please pass it on to me? the one i have isn't working!

COBHIES

NIAMH B love you lots, thank you for everything, miss you heaps. need a big long letter from you, i miss the closeness of seeing you all the time. give ur mum and dad a big hug from me, i've been thinking of them, i think i had started getting used to their little visits!! and i'm still looking forward to that godfather extravaganza when i get back!ps. watch ur back, apparently ed's got a frying pan waiting!
ISOBELA and MR. DAVE loadsa love to you both, it was kinda nice bein in the same country as u guys for that brief brief moment!!there was so many things in the pipeline for you when i was leaving, i'd love to hear how things have progressed. dave i'm glad to hear that the brogs not been the same without me, i'm sure everyone else has just been putting on a brave face : >
Bwhat happened? u got off to a flying start on the email front and then...........nuthin!go on.....give it another lash! hello to fiona and your folks too!
BILL got ur mail and dyin to check everything out but have no access to anything on this computer! and with absolutely no time to get to a caff, i'm going to have to rely on you lettin me know how things are going cos i cant check them out for myself!
ok have checked them out now, and so should everybody else! u sound amazing darlin, u rock!!
CLAIRE ur emails not workin darlin, sort it out!i miss you and really don't want to lose contact, particularly now that u, aoife and i have an eating extravaganza to look forward to on my return. would love to hear from you and would love to know how ange is getting on too x
CHRISTINE lets make it the best new year ever ok!
SUE AND JAMES you guys online? let me know ur address. any idea where packie and ollie are these days?

can someone send me sin mac's email address please, (yes i have lost it yet again!), and keep me up to date on all the local news and gossip. it was all left to my poor ol mum to tell me tara b had come home to get married! cobhies, ur slacking! please pass on my congrats if any of you are in touch.

FRIENDS

Julia i almost start to cry when i think about how much i miss you, and our epic conversations, discussing life, the universe and everything in it.how we gonna do that now : (
ANTON so sorry i had to cut you of that time, i was just exhausted! hope things are wonderful for you, lets make a plan to catch up for sure ok?
AOIFE so much to talk to you about and so much i'm dying to hear about! i'm really glad we got to hang out so much since you came back, hopefully it wont seem like too long before we can do it again. though we might have to make it a whole week in claires instead of just a night next time! if you get the time i'd love a letter telling all!
GER AND ANNE anne if i promise you a tan and great shopping could i trade it against one of gers biggest bear hugs?
CHEESE AND RICE guess it'll be a while b4 i get a chance to pop over and say hello to u both, bet u had a wkd time w/ ed this new year, make sure u get a photo for me this time of ciano in ultra glo spandex, lost my last ones!!
TUES AND BREF tanx for stayin in touch!even though i've been so neglectful! surely ye'll be swingin by here on your travels right? i can't wait to see you both!! bref, u might want to have a chat with ur ickle bruva regarding my baby cuz too! remind him i know where he lives : >
ps. say hello to ur mum for me!

RULERS OF THE PLANET

the photos i took sucked!! hope ur all as fabulous as ever, would be great to hear from you especially if its to tell me of the start of your asian tour!c'mon....all the cool kids are dong it!

2007-01-09T00:05:00.000+07:00

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND THE BEST OF NEW YEARS..........

Aint it gorgeous....
well, where i spent new years eve looked justlike that!!! pity i didn't bring my camera though eh? This is a pic i stole from the net of a beach on n.y.e. that's just up the road from where we were so, as the local saying goes, "same same...but different!"
of course the 31st was when all the reports and accounts etc for the year needed to be emailed to josh in france so as you can imagine, i was lucky to get out of work before midnight, i managed it! just! my friend Tristan had called round and was hangin with all the staff waiting for me to finish but by the time i did, cabin fever had taken firm hold and i was in no mood to party. so we hopped on his bike, with several bags full of goodies and booze, and a huge lantern ( a kind of big box kite with a flammable centre that floats off when lit)that was given to us by Nat, a girl that works here, and headed off to a remote beach just outside town! what a great night, we just sat back and watched the fireworks going of all night and a hundred thousand lanterns being set off all around us all night long. we had tunes and booze and craic and possibly more importantly...Peace! we set off our lantern at dawn, around the same time that pic was taken, and when the sun came up twenty minutes later, we went swimming, is this really my life!
unfortunately it aint all been bliss!
the last month has been seriously intense! i am eating breathing and sleeping Pum restaurant, and i dont know if it's the heat or the amount i'm trying to absorb, but it's really difficult to keep up! it's strange cos i know that this is something i should excel at, but i'm not? and it's a really unusual feeling for me, but i really really want this.
i'm telling myself that it's that i'm not getting any downtime to absorb all that i need to, which is valid, because seriously, we work from 7, 8, 9am to anywhere between 8-12pm, and i'va had only 2 valid days off since i arrived, so it doesn't leave much time for study etc, but i have to admit that a part of me is starting to suggest that maybe i'm just not good enough? which scares the life out of me! i know you probably all think i'm crazy working like this, but if i can do this, if i can put my head down and learn all i need to, then it will be soooo worth it, and by then, not only will my working hours be normalised, but because i'll know what i need to, my working day won't be half as stressful.
thank you all so much for keeping me involved in the xmas and new years festivities, it so great to not feel so far away, i'm so jealous of you all hangin out together, and i can't believe i missed the sultans!! thanks for thinkin of me cian, have to admit to a wee weep after that phonecall, it was soo unexpected and i could hear all the buzz around you, it was wicked! and fanny's home!, somebody give her a big sloppy one from me : > handsome, i can't believe u didn't make it! mail me and let me know what happened!
sorry i cant make this more individual, but it's nearly 1 am again, definately time for bed i'm afraid.
Tues and bref, let me know if ye think ye'll be able to make it, i'll have around a week off sometime around the 13th april, and aine and her friend are coming for 3 weeks around the same time,
loadsa love to all my fam and friends,
might be a few weeks yet but i will get back to some kind of regular contact in the not too distant future.....i hope!!
xxxxxxxxx

2006-12-12T23:56:00.000+07:00

SMALL FISH IN A BIG BIG POND.........

Well, disregard everything i've said thus far, it's all quite literally gone to pot!

Promise to update you all more thoroughly to the marvellous insanity that is my life, in the very near future! But, for the meantime this will have to do!!

Nutshell.....Pums gorgeous restaurant in Phi Phi seems, luckily enough for me,to be in need of a new manager, as dee dee needs to move to Phuket branch, Because Josh, present Phuket manager, really has become more of a company manager, especially now the company has expanded to include two more restaurants in France.I am insanely and unexpectedly happy and complete in Phi Phi, i have management experience, i think possibly my main passion is eating, and i love Pums. I love the decor, i love the philosophy, i love the location and of course, though it goes without saying, i love the food! And possibly more importantly, i'm looking for a job!
2 + 2!
easypeasyjapanesey right?
Except.....
Josh is gong to France in 3 days, Dee Dee can't be in two places at once and i cant cook the menu or speak Thai, and i have no clue asto how it is to work with an all thai staff or how it will feel to live and work in a country like this without my rose tinted glasses, for quite possibly the best part of the next two years?
so!
I am and have been working pretty much, 12 hour days, since last week, first with Dee Dee in Phi Phi and now here with Josh in Phuket, i shall be abandoned on friday, (the very day i have to do my very first intensive i2 hours travelling "visa run") here in Phuket until Mid January, when we will all sit down again and tackle some serious decision making about what happens next!
Holiday abruptly ended!
very sad at leaving the very lovely phi phi for the "sacriligious" (very appropriate wording there from Josh!) Patong, and quite overwhelmed at the prospect of what i need to learn in such a short period of time,
but!
hugely excited at the opportunity to learn so much, at getting a shot at a career in something like this, that i could be passionate about, in somewhere that i really feel could be home, admittedly a surreally beautiful home, but also just a normal day to day life kinda home.
So.... it's now 1am and i gotta get me some shuteye,let me know what you all think, all advice and suggestions welcome!
loving the comments page, but perhaps all you anonymous posters might not be so shy in the future! Missing you all heaps, sorry i don't have the time to write more individual notes. Really do love the ones i'm getting from you!
All my love x

2006-12-01T18:21:00.000+07:00

SWIMMING WITH SHARKS.........

Sharks!!! I saw sharks!
Actually to be so much more specific (and of course so much more boastful!), I was swimming with sharks! About 10 of 'em!! Think they were called blacktip reef sharks? Was a little disappointed to hear that they were only about a metre to a metre and a half long, cos i swear the ones i saw, they were THIS BIG!!
Tee hee hee!
Seriously though, i'm almost embarrassed to say that i was equally excited about almost everything that happened that day. Keira's friends Ayesha and Tristan had arrived a few days previously, all divers of course, and after a really lovely few days lounging in the sun and chilling with a few beers, all were very keen to get into the water properly! My company was duly expected (and welcome i hope!), but i have to admit to a little reticence, seeing as i can't swim, never mind dive, been snorkelling once or twice alright but never out of my depth!, and here we were to get on hippo divers boat,(www.hippodivers.com) to go to Phi Phi Leh, 30 minutes away, to jump into the sea? Hmmmm....?
Was pretty sure i wasn't gonna drown, hardly possible surrounded by all those pros?, but it's a working ship and everybodys so busy, and Keirs and her friends were gonna want to hang out, not spend an hour coaxing me off the boat right? So, as i said...I was reticent!
Of course, and as always, it seems, I had nothing to worry about!
After everyone had completed their first dive (and i worked on my tan on the deck!), i was put in a half wetsuit, impossible to sink in! given my fins and my snorkel, and a 5 minute technique drill in the water and off we went! And i swear to God i don't know what i was more excited about! The fact that i was in the water? that i was so comfortable? that we were swimmimg through shoals and shoals of the most beautiful fish i have ever seen or perhaps that this is what a day can be like!
How am i ever gonna land myself back in the real world?
The marine life here is incredible, not just the fish but the water, the array of colours sweeping the sea bed create a kind of sensory overload. Out of the many fish we saw, those that stood out were Longfin Bannerfish, Damsel Fish, Needle Fish, a Porcupine Puffer Fish and the Sharks of course. As i was happily moving along i looked calmly to where keira was frantically pointing and oh my God there's a shark swimming about 2 metres below us! I just started laughing and of course nearly swallowed half the bay in the process! After composing myself and being reassured by K that there's nothing to fear, apparently they're more afraid of us etc. ( i've been told that about spiders too but somehow i'm more inclined to believe it about the sharks! go figure?) So on we went to discover another and then another until at one stage there were 6 directly below me and a few others in my sight! It was incredible.
I came out of the water wanting a cigarette it was that good!
Next on my list to see are Leopard Sharks, Turtles and Manta Rays! Not even sure if it's possible to see any of these whilst snorkelling, but hell if it is, i'm determined to!
I am so disappointed that i'm not allowed to dive, not even primarily for the experience, as i feel i have some kind of a window into that with snorkelling, but for the job opportunities it affords.
To have a job that allows you to spend so much time in waters like these is just such a privilege, though a hard earned one i know.
Speaking of the real world, i really need to get my head down now, get this T.E.F.L. course finished and get me a job!
It's so hard to even think about studying now when there's so many lovely things to do and to plan here. I can hardly believe it's been nearly two weeks already since i arrived. It feels as though i've hardly had the time to appreciate all that's happenning to me and around me. Is that even possible when really all i've had is time since i got here?.
I need to make a visa run, in about two weeks so i'm thinkin of headin back up north towards bankok and perhaps just alittle further to one of the old capitals, Sukhothai, one of the first parts of thailand to claim independance from Khmer rule,a really historic site that is not only the source of the first few letters of the modern Thai alphabet but also responsible for establishing Buddhism as the common faith. I hope then to cross the border by heading east to Angkor in Cambodia, the ancient capital of the Khmer empire, and apparently archaeologically grander than anything in Greece or Rome and unsurpassed by anything in Europe, Asia or Latin America. Can't fail to be impressed really!
I'm not really stuck for time but i hope to do it by land mostly, so i might give it a week to ten days. Both Sukhothai and Angkor Wat are famous for their ancient ruins and temples which are supposed to be magnificent, and i'm looking forward, if not a little apprehensively, to leaving this little coccon i've found and getting my hands dirty! so to speak. Though
I hope that the real treasures i find on this trip are a little less grand than those advertised on the pages of my guide books. I hope that i'm strong enough and smart enough to navigate my way safely. Naively i know, i'm looking forward to long train journeys and cramped buses, if for no other reason than to give you all a good laugh at watching me eat those words on the updates!
Thanks for the e-mails and texts, keeping me upto date on what's happening at home, it means so much to me here.
lotsa love from me to you!
X

2006-11-27T12:29:00.000+07:00

FIRST IMPRESSIONS......

Forgive the delay folks please, I have sat down once or twice already to do this but aside from being exhausted from the heat, I haven’t really known what to say, or perhaps more precisely, where to begin.
I got a text today asking me if it’s beautiful and immediately I answered that it was but the thing is, it’s not. In fact, some parts are downright ugly, whether it’s scenic or social, but….and it’s a big but!, life here is beautiful. Which in turn, makes everything about being here beautiful. If that makes sense?
I’ve been waking up at dawn almost every morning to a day that is filled with smiles and sunshine, swimming and possibility. I’ve been getting the right balance between having time by myself, and meeting people, and daily I’m faced with the opportunity to sit and eat, all day long if I want, for half nothing! What more could this girl ask for!
It’s been hard to take photos to show what it is that I want to show, because it’s so understated that it’s hard to capture. I don’t know how to show you a shared joke when none of us are speaking the same language or how yesterday, having got a loan of a new bike for a week, I got a round of cheers and applause passing my guesthouse where all these thai people aged from 8-80 were having their dinner! People I’ve only met in the last 2 days and only know to smile to and greet (in I’m sure what is my limited and godawful thai!), people whom now have become friends of sort, well at least less then strangers! Our common ground? Well, we’re all pleased that I have a new bike! Can it really be that simple?
I hope so
I know I’m on holiday, and that I’m bound to have quite a rose tinted view, but I don’t feel completely ignorant to the realities of life here for a lot of people. It really is hand to mouth for many, and I know once I leave Phi Phi my eyes are only going to be opened wider, but there’s an over-riding sense that though despair is prevalent, and we will see it whether we look for it or not, so too is laughter and goodness, and on this side of the world I just don’t seem to have to try so hard to see it.
hmmmm………maybe I should shave my head and join a group!
Right! Enough of all this Zen bullshit, time for jealousy to ensue, in bucketloads I hope!
Weather’s been scorching since I arrived, sun’s up around 6 or 7am and it’s hot hot hot all the way through to 6pm. Keira’s been teaching her first yoga retreat all week, and I’ve been allowed join in the classes, I met the lady organizing it all, Michelle, lovely irish girl who’s organized these regular yoga/adventure holidays all over the world, check out her website it’s really cool, and so have been hanging out with her and some of the group a little. Actually it’s Michelle who lent me her bike while she’s away. For those of you, and I’ll hold both my hands up to having been one, who think yoga is a doss, I now challenge you!! seriously hard work! and it’s not just cos I’m lazy, couldn’t believe it, not just sitting about breathing and lying down, a full on fuck-off work out! I kid you not! Was taking it all quite seriously and trying to be good yoga student and keep up with everything until yesterday, when I think my true colours showed through when I collapsed into a heap in a fit of snorts and peals of laughter on the mat, right in the middle of quite a serene moment where we’re all holding our breath the bar nearby was playing Cat Stevens, y’know that one that goes “I can’t keep it in, can’t keep it in, I gotta let it out…”
What can ya do!
Usually fitting in an hour a day on the beach, catchin some rays and doin a bit of swimming in water that I believe is about 27 degrees these days! Went rock climbing yesterday with some people I met and I was brickin it! I think that actually made me more pleased with myself for actually doin it though! I completed 3 runs, a 10,15 and 25 meter one. Well chuffed.
More of keiras friends arrived today so we’ll probably head out tonight and I think snorkellings on the cards for tomorrow. Think we’re heading to a nice restaurant tonight called Pumms, they do cookery classes too and I met the guy Dee Dee who runs them, met him in their sister restaurant in phuket so that’s definitely on the cards before I leave. Quick plug there for him cos he’s great, so check out his site too, think it’s www.pumthaifoodchain.com

k folks,
that”s it for now
loadsa love xxxxxxxx

ps. will get photos up when i figure out how to do it! might take another week though!

2006-11-05T21:45:00.000+07:00

IN THE BEGINNING........

To give this blog what i feel is a proper beginning, i am, somewhat belatedly perhaps, going to update it to show a little of where i have come from, and how i got to here.
Having left home at the age of 19 or so fearlessly setting off to travel the world, i ended up poor and destitute (but oh so in love!) in Porto (and then Lisbon in turn) no more than 3 weeks later! Given only 2 options, 1. to hold my hands up and go home to my family, or 2. (which was by far the more preferable!) to go home to Germany to his!
So with a little extra cash wired through, we hopped on a train and travelled through the vast and ever changing countryside, from orange trees to highrise in Hamburg, and finally arrived in the most beautiful little university city called luneburg.
Dave's family there were amazing in there acceptance of me, and evidently, quite relieved to find out that this hitherto unheard of little irish girl being brought home by their long lost and wayward son, was not after all pregnant! Is that the universally unifying first thought of every mother everywhere or what!
I landed my first job, that very first evening while walking and exploring our new surroundings we stumbled upon an Irish bar, "The Old Dubliner" wha!
Possibly, i'm quite sure what my mother believes was the beginning of the end for me!
In probably what was the worst prepared speech ever, i introduced myself to the owner, explained how i had arrived only a few hours earlier, couldn't speak German and had never worked in a bar before but.........."any chance of a job?"
I started the next day.
He claims it was my honesty, i reckon it might have had a little bit more to do with my heritage?!
We lived there for six months, by which time i had learned enough German to enjoy it but had spent enough time there not to regret leaving. I'm fortunate enough to have stayed in touch with a few of the good people i met there to this day, even hooking up with Dave's mum and sister on their recent visit to Eire.
On returning home, i reconnected with all my family and friends and worked locally in a bar for a man who though i had my fair share of wars with, i quite liked really, a man lovingly known locally as "the pig"! I managed to work there before leaving to go work in this great hangout in the city called An Brog. Which was indeed a shorterm plan, like most of mine usually are, while i figure out what it is i really want to do, until this year, seven years later, i finally and brokenheartedly left. I guess, for the last seven years it actually was, what i really wanted to do. This insitution of Cork city has landmarked almost every major milestone so far in my adult life! Before i ever even worked there. It was the bar Keira and her friend Claire somehow smuggled me into, with heels and lots of eyeliner when i was just 16, a night where we drank the bar dry of carlsberg special brew and the stories of which are still recalled to this day amid hysterical and tearful peals of laughter! It was the meeting place after every great gig i went to, it was, by default, the site of my first reluctant date with the man whom i loved utterly for the next, lets just say many many years and of course one my first ports of call, was to the great friends i had there when it ultimately and perhaps inevitably, fell apart!
I have been lucky enough to have worked with such a tremendous and varied group of people, lucky that a huge amount of the staff who worked there, stayed there for a long enough time to become good friends, many of us having worked together for years. Lucky enough that my job didn't exclude me from seeing my friends, lucky enough for the most part being able to look forward to going to work, or at the very least seeing somebody special, every single day.
For those of you tempted to pay a visit, be prepared, its dark, it's smelly, it's vast and it's loud! It's open til late and It's home to everybody from goths to accountants who all want to have a good time, and to the best barstaff on the planet.Leave your "customer is always right" attitude at the door and work on your "i just want us all to have a good time" one instead. Be prepared to say please and thank you at the bar or you'll be reminded! (and rightly so) and let security handle any of the wankers who somehow slipped through the net at the door. Drink jagermeister, only enough to have fun! (not enough to start slurring and telling 20 yr olds they're really pretty!) and get one for those who are working hard and look like they need it, to be drank after hours of course! Let your hair down and have a good time, and remind the owners everytime you've had a good time, what a good job Cian the manager and his staff are doing! (sometimes they seem to find it hard to see)
Wow, can the nostalgia be setting in that hard already? Looks like it!
Those of you planning a visit to Cork, here's a few handy websites that will help you feel right at home. It's such a culturally diverse city, very gay friendly, well the nightlife is anyway, great city to make home for a while.
Check out Cork City council for a map, and The English Market for great food., and Luigi Malones for a cheap and diverse menu. Great bars include An Brog of course, The Mutton Lane Inn, The Crane Lane Theatre and for the best cocktails, The Long Island. Check out the cork gigs link for events.
Enough press!
Onwards.........
I decided to perhaps visit my cousin Keira here in Kho Phi Phi in Thailand for Christmas, but decided on further reflection to maybe consider it as not just a holiday but perhaps a move. It seemed like a good time to think about trying something new, there wasn't really much more to be gained at work, either by me or from me, i was looking for a new apartment anyway, which meant another 12 month contract was looming, i don't have a partner or children, the only thing that could have possibly stopped me was fear, and y'know i didn't have too much of that.
So, i started a T.E.F.L., course, told my family and friends, who were all amazingly if not a little suspicously supportive and encouraging! Handed in my notice and somehow managed to work almost a million days consecutively until I had only three days to pack up my life and leave!
Aaaaaagh!
What chaos, what panic, what high drama, emotion and exhaustion! I actually managed to fall asleep standing up in Dubai airport whilst staring at the departures board! Seriously! My snores jolted me back to the land of the living!
Had the most amazing three days though, i never expected the attention and love and support that i got, the gestures and phonecalls and gifts to send me on my way and wish me luck was overwhelming. All of you who took the time to go out of your way to spend time with me, or to say or do something special, i hope realise just what that meant to me.
I've always realised how lucky i was and am to know and love such great friends and family, but to know how many of you felt that way about me was humbling. I hope that one day i get to make each and very one of you feel as very special and loved as you did me.
For Everything, Thank You!
And now,
I'm here!